Reflection

I have to take a deep breath because when I sit down and really reflect on 2022 (for me) it was an emotional rollercoaster that I really wanted to exit from.  It was hard because this year was a passionately sensitive yet emotionally breaking for me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a Virgo and I don’t do well with emotions or if it’s because over the past couple of years things have been really good where I haven’t had to face this level of strain.

In 2022, I lost two loves around the same time.  As I sit in this quiet room with no background noise, just the sound of the voice in my own head along with the feeling of my own heartbeat but open to the sound of the birds chirping in the trees, gave me such an intense sense of loneliness.  But the loneliness I have found in those moments drives me to want to heal. Healing is a process and it’s some thing you have to be open to. If you’re not open to the journey of healing, then you are continuing to go into a downward cycle that you will never really find a way out of. You then ultimately force yourself into a routine that consists of unhealthy habits simply because you have not addressed your issues. 

Thinking of what 2023 has the offer is really scary. For the first time in 11 years I’m walking into a new year alone. And if I’m being honest, I am not ready for that step. If you were to ask me 6 or maybe 10 years ago where I see myself now , I would’ve told you such a different story.  As I reflect on what happened and the why’s behind what happened and the loss of all of it; I can’t fight the tears.  But then I remember that joy comes in the morning.  But in order for that joy to come, I have to be open to heal. Healing is such an emotional process and an emotional journey that is so necessary. The question is, are you ready to face the matters at hand to begin and continue the process of being healed? 

In 2023, I intend on continuing to rehabilitate and allow myself to be open to what God has for my future. In order to know what that is, I have to be willing to sit in a quiet room with no background noise, just the sound of the voice in my own head along with the feeling of my own heartbeat but open to the sound of the birds chirping in the trees in order to hear what God really has for me. Yes, it will begin to open the door to a universe of things that I may not have been ready for in the past but because I allow myself to reconcile my issues in the healing process, I’ll be open to opportunities for the betterment of my future. I don’t know what opportunity is going to come my way but I am open and willing to except them.  I have a vision for where I see myself, where I see my business, the vision for my career and a vision for my love life. But in order for any of it to come to pass, I have to reflect on where I was and reflect on where I am in order to see where I’m going. I can honestly say I’m excited for what is coming yet scared to do it alone. Granted I have no idea what the universe has in store for me but I do know the level of work and workmanship that I have been putting in (in silence).  Now I am not going to tell you all what’s on my vision board simply because that is for me and God to work out but I can tell you to write the vision and make it plain. Don’t hide away from the healing process, allow it to take shape but ensure that you have the right people in your corner to help you make it through.

So to 2022, I raise my glass to you. I felt knocked down but found the strength to get up and keep going regardless of how difficult and mentally exhausting it was. Somedays were easier than others. Somedays were extremely difficult.  Yet I am grateful nonetheless.  My business took a backseat in 2022.  I will always be my authentic self 100% of the time. It was necessary for my business to take a backseat and put my healing in the forefront simply because my heart needed it. 2023 is going to be a good year.  Every year the vision gets clear and clear. I am ready for this growth. I am ready for 2023 and I hope you are too.